One thing they don’t really teach us when we become parents is how is how to share all of the parenting responsibilities and make time for the right things. When one thing is off-kilter—whether its time for ourself, our spouse, or our children—it takes away from our enjoyment of all the other things and prevents us from achieving that life balance we desire.
Meet Heather Rosales, a full-time working mother of two boys, who has found that healthy balance through creating routines, consistently following them, and learning to communicate well with her spouse.
Heather blocks off time in her day for the important things, like alone time, couple time, and time with her children. Scheduling and developing the mindset that there will always be more work but time with her children and spouse are precious helps her prioritize her day. She can comfortably say ‘no’ without guilt to some things because it means she is saying ‘yes’ to the right things.
Those things that are important to us will be respected by the people who care for us, but we need to be open and set expectations for everyone. Heather’s family has a ‘siesta time’ every afternoon for relaxing and quiet time. It started when her children were babies but they still keep it up as best they can. Her extended family and friends know this is their time and try not to schedule things then. Similarly, at work her colleagues know that she needs to leave the office at a set time to be home for dinner with her family. When we respect ourselves by setting our routines and sticking to them, then others will respect it too.
Heather shares how they reached a breaking point with sleep in her first year of being a parent. The lack of sleep became trying on her marriage, her work, and her overall wellbeing. She shares how finding a method, setting a routine and sticking to it is what eventually got them through that experience. She feels it’s not so much the methods we choose in parenting but our consistency in following a method.
Our days will be full no matter what as moms—whether we work or stay home have one child or five—it’s up to us to fill our day with the things that are most meaningful for us. Hear how Heather is doing just that and in so doing modeling to her children that we can be happy and fulfilled at work and at home.
Life Recipe: Schedule a Siesta Time in your day
When her children were babies, her family started something they call siesta or quiet time. In the middle of the day, they designate time for quiet and relaxation. They could take a nap, do laundry, read. She communicated this expectation to her family and friends so everyone knew that was their time to recharge and they wouldn’t be communicating at that time.
It was time set aside for herself with no feelings of guilt. As her children get older, they still have 1 hour of quiet time. Her children know they can take a nap, do a quiet activity.No electronics, just hanging out and relaxing. It’s really been great. In the first two years especially, it was a lifesaver.
Memorable Quotes from Interview
“I was influenced by what my dad modeled for me growing up. He worked full-time but he was always there for the important things. He made it a priority to be a part of my life.”
“Getting into a schedule and sticking to it has really worked for us. Its been helpful to have a routine for our kids and to surrender ourself to it.”
“In order to prevent yourself from overcommitment, schedule in time with your kids.”
“Say yes to the right things, and say no to the right things whether its to work or to your family and do it without guilt. It will all be fine.”