When it feels like nothing is going right –  try to react differently and choose love instead

There are those days when everything seems to pile up against us. On these days, I usually have a break down and finally let out the tears of frustration, anger, and sadness that built up throughout the day.  As I reflect on that type of a day, I realize it was me who choose to react negatively to the things that happened to me. I have to choose differently—choose to love if I want to bring more loving, positive things back to me.

Like attracts like – we have to choose happiness to bring in more happy things

Things will not always go our way, especially as a parent. We are intertwined with these little individuals with their own minds, visions, and emotions who are dependent on us. They are dependent on us for setting a routine, for being a stable presence. And most importantly, they are dependent on us for our love. And when we are having bad days, when we don’t love ourselves. We can’t possibly love our children. And when we are not loving our children, the one thing they need more than anything, they feel it. And it affects their behavior, their emotions, everything.

It is easy to have a day that gets worse and worse. Negative energy attracts and bring back more negative energy.

When I look back on those bad days, it’s usually because everything went against my “plan.” I had a vision in my head for how I wanted the day to go, and as it often does as a mom and wife, it didn’t go quite as I planned. Don’t get me wrong, I always need to prepare and plan. It’s so important as a mom. But when things don’t go as planned, I need to just accept it and react lovingly to it. One I accept and forgive, then I can move on.

Where there are negative emotions of sadness, anger and fear, positive emotions can’t exist too

Just a bin full of balls on the sleeping newborn

Just a bin full of balls on the sleeping newborn

I used to unconsciously let negative emotions consume me. It was so easy for things to get worse and worse and really difficult to change my way of thinking. Lately, I have been living more consciously. Devoting time to me everyday has given me the clarity and strength I need to live consciously and no longer let emotions of sadness or fear consume me. I still have days where I let too much negativity in, and as I look back I see that I brought that into my life. When I am thinking negatively, then more negative things come into my life.

If I am feeling sad and negative, my husband and children feel that negative energy too

When it was just me, it was easier to unconsciously be in a place of negativity all day. Now that I am a wife and a mother, I can see so vividly how my emotional state affects the people that I love. When I am projecting feelings of fear and sadness, the people I love feel it too. I see it in the way Calvin acts and responds to me. He starts to behave poorly because he can sense my negative energy. My husband disconnects from me. Everything goes worse. Bringing consciousness to the negative thoughts I feel, accepting them and changing them has brought more joy into my life. I used to just push those negative feelings further down until finally they would explode, usually onto my husband. Now I accept the negative way I am feeling, understand where it is coming from, and then change it to positive thoughts.

Now I step back and I tell myself to look at it differently—to accept what is and change the way I am feeling about it. When I do this things start to go right again and more positivity comes back to me.

Do you have any strategies for staying positive when everything around you seems to be negative?

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Pingback: Like attracts like – when I feel happy then positive happy things come back to me | EverydayEverymom

  2. bgw Reply

    Hey Lindsay… just stumbled onto this through a link from one of your friends on FB. I think it’s great you are mom-blogging! I will add one trick we found to help remind ourselves to stay positive as parents… put up a piece of paper and tear a piece off every time you say “no” or correct your child (which we all have to do, of course!), and see how long it lasts. Then do the same thing for every time you say something positive to your child. It’s easy to slip into correcting WAY more than we encourage. If we found ourselves doing that, we’d have “catch them being good” days, where we’d make a concerted effort to have the positives outweigh the negatives. It energized us all with more positive energy and really helped! –Barb W.

    • ambroselindsay Reply

      I love that idea! I will try that – it is a great way to become more conscious of how much I am correcting verses encouraging. And help me to focus on being more positive. And thanks for checking out my blog!

  3. Pingback: Connecting with other moms is much better than comparing – EveryDayEveryMom

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