We had good friends over for breakfast this weekend. They are friends from our life before children who have become great friends after children. I believe that we choose our friends and our friends make us be better people. With lifetime friends like this, we have seen each other evolve from young social singles to married couples with a baby and now to families.
More children at our gatherings have brought more chaos as well
I’ve learned to prepare as much as I can in advance so I can just enjoy their company and not get consumed in the chaos. Parenting has often come down to the old saying, prepare for the worst but expect the best. I’ll never be prepared enough, but the more prepared the better it goes. Anyway, I have found even with these close friends of mine, that too often I’m not present, in the moment, enjoying my time with them. Instead, I am caught up in worry over will Calvin play well with the other children, is the house clean enough, will they like the food, how did the house get so messy. This morning, I make a conscious effort to not get caught up in worry and just be present, like the children.
On this morning, the kids seemed to be especially wild. And just when I thought we wouldn’t get any time to just relax and catch up. The dads decide to help the kids build a fort and all the kids are laughing and playing calmly. We sit around and talk and watch them interact together on their own. It is in these moments of presence, of calm amidst all of the craziness, I feel the total joy with the new lives we lead. When I am caught up in anxiety over how things will pan out or regret from my expectations for the day not being realized, I can’t feel this joy. When I am present, accepting the day and believing I did the best I could today. Then I feel total joy, bliss even. And I see how the joy I feel spreads onto my children and our home.
I challenge myself each day to see the beauty in the crazy
Life is just better when I accept that some things are out of my control. And when I’m caught up in worry, there can’t also be love. So I try to choose love instead, I choose to look at the situation differently. And just enjoy because I know before long I will look back on this time and wish I was more appreciative of it—that I expressed more gratitude, not regret. All I truly have is today, this moment, so why not be fully present and enjoy it, as is is, crazy and all.